Los Angeles

by - 20:06

I think my family and I had quite possibly the worst experience in L.A that any visitor to the city has had ever. Like, it was so bad I get distraught just thinking about the short trip we had there. It was honestly that bad.

"But it's L.A, the city of dreams." I hear you say. But in fact, after my experience, it was the city of nightmares...

So mum and dad were already over in the States, Vegas to be exact. They had been there a week, kicking off their holiday a week before my brothers and I flew over to the US to meet them. They were with all of their friends before we all left to Fort Lauderdale to catch our cruise ship.

Mum left Las Vegas a day earlier than dad and co to pick us kids up from LAX, stay with us a night in LA and then we all fly across country to Florida.

The flight from Auckland to LA went smoothly. Luc, Zane & I are all accustomed travelers so being in airports without our parents didn't phase us in the slightest. We jumped on the plane and started our journey.

13 hours later we land in America. I manage somehow to usher Luc and Zane through the intense customs process with all the finger scanning and that and we meet mum outside our gate.

We are all knackered and looking worse for wear, but we jump in a cab and head to our hotel in Santa Monica. If I recall correctly the hotel was fine. No five star accommodation or anything, but not to gnarly.

We drop off our bags, go for a feast and then wander down Santa Monica pier for a couple hours before we headed back to our hotel to jump on the Hollywood Tours bus.

Don't ask what I was wearing.

So we get back to the hotel, all excited for this Hollywood Tour when 15 minutes goes by as to when we were meant to be on the tour.

Mum went and called the tour from the hotel phones and alas, it seemed they had forgotten to stop by at our hotel!


Mum's stressing a bit. 3 tired kids all straight off of a 13 hour flight, excited to see Hollywood, herself knackered from flying from Vegas to LA just a few hours prior and now the tour bus that she prepaid for wasn't picking us up.

Never fear, the tour company says, we will send a guy to pick you up and take you to meet the bus.

A while later this crazy, ass, angry Mexican dude picks us up in his van and takes us for a drive through the ghettos of LA.

No shit.

We didn't see no bright lights or manisons or well manicured hedges or people dressed all glam. We saw dirty, narrow streets filled with rubbish, gangsters walking around looking sly and had the craziest driver ever. Running red lights, speeding over pit-holes, it was carnage. Pretty sure he was also super aggressive at mum.

We finally meet up with the bus on Hollywood Boulevard (I must add this is night-time that all of this is happening) and the tour and we all just don't want to be there. Then all these guys come up to us trying to force us to take their CD because they're the next 'Kanye West' and the new 'Biggie Smalls'. We refused and were scared that we were going to get murdered right there on Hollywood Boulveard.

Their were people in scary costumes, homeless people everywhere, rubbish littered the walk of fame and it was just horrible. Not what we pictured at all.

I think we did a mini stroll up the walk of fame and saw the chinese theatre and then that was it.

After our 10 minutes on Hollywood Boulevard, we jumped on the tour bus and the crazy African-American tour guy told us a whole lot of complete shit yarns about how 'Justin Bieber lived in this house', 'George Clooney owns this one', 'That car that just drove passed us with tinted windows was either Brad Pitt or Johnny Depp'. 

All total B.S, but whatever, we were happy that we were finally experiencing some of Hollywood. Even if it was at night. With a crazy tour guide. After a 13-hour plane ride.

We saw Beverley Hills, the Staples Centre and Rodeo Drive which was cool. And stopped at another couple of places. 

Then we were dropped back at the hotel and we all couldn't wait to just crash.

A few hours into our sleep - the fire alarm at our hotel goes.

No shit at like 3 in the morning.

The last straw in the disastrous 24 hours in LA.

I don't really remember the nitty gritty details of the evacuation, but it was a false alarm anyway thank fuck.

We went back to sleep and then another couple of hours later, it was back to LAX to catch a flight to Florida.

So thankful to get out of LA.


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