The flight from hell

by - 21:01



So last weekend I flew home and it was the WEIRDEST experience I think i've ever had on a plane in my life.

Like so random.

So I got my tickets on this plane last minute, so of course I wasn't expecting good seats at all but anyway I end up down the very back, row 29 and my seat is seat B so in the middle. I was the first one of the three to sit in our row so I put my bag away, pulled out my headphones and that, got myself sorted - you know just the usual.

And then the first of my travel companion arrives and she's seated by the window so up I get to let her scoot on in.

She looks like she is older than 20 but younger than 25. She screams hipster with her spectacles, coloured pixie cut and her satchel bag, but she seems nice enough.

My second and final travel companion plops herself in the aisle seat to my right and she seems fine too.

An older lady with a grey bob, dressed in a bright skivvy and some nice slacks. At this point if i'm judging a book by the cover i'd say she's a nice lady with a husband, from a middle class background with a couple kids who are working in business and maybe even have a couple young children of their own.

Anyway, so we buckle our seatbelts, and already I know that this flight is going to be pretty average.

After I popped my headphones in, I rest my left arm on the armrest next to me. Or should I say TRY to rest my arm on the armrest next me. Hipster girl already got both her arrest occupied and she plays on her phone.

I sigh, but i'm not a negative or angry person, so I try my luck with the armrest on my right.

There was room for me to squidge my elbow on buuuuut I quickly retract my need to rest my arms when I notice the lady next to me uncontrollably sobbing and trying to hide it behind a tissue.

I'm tired, feeling unconfrontational and the airhostess is right behind us getting the snacks ready so I leave her be and focus to my music, closing my eyes and relaxing until....

A BIG SNOTTY SNIFF ESCAPES THE OLDER LADIES NOSE.

Ewwww snot. Something which I am not too bigger fan of as you could imagine.

The airhostess bends down ask if she's okay and the lady nods and then airhostess asks if she wants a cookie or pretzels and then the lady turns into a 2 year old and nods and asks for both. (Normally you only allowed one. Well, it's not law but you know you don't wanna look greedy!)

Anyway the cup of tea, pretzels and cookie seem to go down a treat for her and she stops crying.

Meanwhile, hipster girl is still occupying both armrests and is gazing out the window, meaning I have to lean forward and block off crying lady's view to peer out.

I deal with it though. So for the next half hour of the flight this happens. Not too bad I can cope with the hand i've been dealt.

Oh, and I also forgot to mention that there was a group of about 40 school kids on board who had just competed in athletics so they were pretty rowdy.

Then the plane starts to land and there is this BEAUTIFUL sunset. Bright orange, and pink and red and it highlights the clouds and oh my god it looks like a postcard.

But thennnnn, the view was so good that hipster girl decided to lean forward and stare out the window. Seems like a harmless act, but her head engulfs the WHOLE window so I can't even see a drip of light.

I sigh again and take a snapchat of his cos I was slightly annoyed, but whatever she won the window seat, I guess she gets to have priority over that.

We're landing and the sunset is getting even brighter and prettier. It probably looked AMAZING but still hipster girls head was in the way.

Honestly for a good 15 minutes her head was taking up the WHOLE GOD DAMN WINDOW.



And then, the older lady who was also trying to see out of the window, pipes up. She nudges me with her elbow and says "She's a bloody window hogger isn't she!"

I awkwardly laugh in response, and say "Yeah it would be nice to see a bit!"

Not thinking it was too loud or too impolite.

Anyway, hipster girl turns around and glares at us both. Evil eyes are there and she wasn't trying to be subtle!

I mentally 'Eek' and slump down in my seat a bit and hipster girl, who now has an aggressive side turns back to her #1 job of window blocker.

The fiesty old lady on my right has tried to make small talk with me now since we bonded over getting glared at by hipster girl and to be honest i'm not really feeling the chat.

She looks over my shoulder at my phone and asks me about my phone and then about what music i'm listening to and the whole time i'm just thinking 'Leave me alone and give me an armrest since I can't see out the window!'

We land. I never, ever got to see out the window the whole time nor rest my arms. But whatever, the flight was done. I'm back in Auckland ready to collect my suitcase and head on home.

Then we are walking to collect our bags and i'm with my two favourite travel companions and then the old lady goes back to her two year old ways and swings her back pack into the back of the hipsters legs.

"EXCUSE ME THAT WAS SO UNNECESSARY" the hipster shrieks.

"FUCKING BITCH" the old lady spits back.

And omg i'm in the middle of a scrap. Well not really, i'm not to sure. I just scadadled out of there while they bickered.

I wonder if they threw a few punches at each other? And if they did who would've thrown the first one? And who came out on top??

Ahhh so many unanswered questions. But ones I am willing to leave unanswered so I don't have to go through that again.

So yeah, that's my most recent travel yarn.

What's yours?


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